NEW POEM: On Losing The Best Of The Social Whores (12-29-09)

On Losing The Best Of The Social Whores

You!

You spread your arms so wide and embraced me so tightly when

I was so lost

and you!

You introduced me to this incredible world i had been so enamored with

but had never had been able to muster the courage to dive into its depths.

You!

Do you know what an inspiration you were to me?

How when I watched you at Bahama Breeze or Manchester's,

moving with ease between tables and various groups of "macrame-makers,"

beer in hand, how

I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame.

God,

we all were.

Your light shone so brightly,

we all wanted to bathe in it.

If I could have one more moment I would say,

"Jack, you gave me courage and comfort and confidence"

and that wouldn't begin to describe one iota of what you gave me.

How I ache for what the world has lost.

I understand your demons, having shared similar ones

(the first time we met face-to-face we confided these issues with each other)

and I know the disease must've taken over

and I know I didn't do my part,

hold up my end of the bargain,

as I forgot how to communicate,

as I forgot how to be anything to you more than a name on a list.

So, I can't claim to know

anything about what brought this about

other than stupid fucking chemicals that wreak havoc with our souls

and for that, I could not be sorrier.

I will always treasure your infectious laughter, your booming voice, and those moments we shared where I was lucky enough to have your attention all to myself and got to converse and confide.

The world doesn't make much sense when we lose the likes of you,

yet I know your ache is at last soothed, your savage beast tamed,

so I hold onto that cold comfort,

and with tears streaming down my face,

I wish you well and remember a world where we basked in your warmth.

copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews

Best of 2009 set list, The Crow's Foot, 12-27-09

"Jailbird" -- M. Ward

"All The Beautiful Things" -- Eels

"There Are Maybe Ten Or Twelve" -- A. C. Newman

"Two" -- The Antlers

"Swim Until You Can't See Land" -- Frightened Rabbit

"Shake A Shot" -- Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson

"People Got A Lotta Nerve" -- Neko Case

"Lust For Life" -- Girls

"Lalita" -- The Love Language

"Days" -- Sambassadeur

"Kick Drum Heart" -- The Avett Brothers

"Saddest Summer" -- The Drums

"Naked With You" -- Turbo Fruits

"Stayed Up Late" -- The White Wires

"Suicide" -- The Raveonettes

"Not Fair" -- Lily Allen

"Folding Chair" -- Regina Spektor

"When We Swam" -- Thao

"Oh Suzanne" -- French Kissing

"Walkabout [w/ Noah Lennox]" -- Atlas Sound

"Heaven's Stranger" -- Eat Skull

"You Can Come Over" -- Shannon and the Clams

"A Little Death Around The Eyes" -- Pete Doherty

"Cornerstone" -- Arctic Monkeys

"Convinced Of The Hex" -- The Flaming Lips

"Guilty Cocker Spaniel" -- Modest Mouse

"Zero (N.A.S.A. Bloody Lobo Remix)" -- Yeah Yeah Yeahs

"Burn It All Down" -- VHS Or Beta

"If This Is Love" -- Darlings

"Jackie Wood" -- Box Elders

"26 Miles (Santa Catalina)" -- Dent May & His Magnificent Ukelele

"Hey Boy" -- Magic Kids

"Loli" -- Nous Non Plus

"A Teenager In Love" -- The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart

"The Ills" -- Mayer Hawthorne

"Spoiled" -- Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band

"Honeymoon" -- Bombadil

"Gimme Sympathy (Acoustic)" -- Metric

My Top 10 Albums of 2009 (I think? I can never friggin make up my mind man, so at this moment in time only)

December 25, 2009

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

1. Neko Case -- Middle Cyclone

2. M. Ward -- Hold Time

3. A. C. Newman -- Get Guilty

4. Thao -- Know Better Learn Faster

5. Arctic Monkeys -- Humbug

6. The Love Language -- The Love Language

7. Miles Benjamin Anthony Robinson -- Summer of Fear

8. Metric -- Fantasies

9. Eels -- Hombre Lobo

10. Regina Spektor -- Far

Aislinn's Plurk Challenge: Reflections on Reverence

11-3-09

Reflections on Reverence

reverence

holiness as i know it

the beauty in all the little moments of awakening

the breathlessness of a true moment of joy

feeling helpless in the presence of enormity

the crashing of breakers on the shore

love

real love, not the superficial kind, but lasting love, pure love, unconditional love

laughter, deep throaty peals of it emanating heartily from loved chests

catching laughter

the kind that is contagious and irrepressible and uncontainable and leaves you breathless, tears soaking your cheeks

family

friends

all the people who hold me up when i fall so far into the underbelly of the beast

when i can't hold myself up and need hands to pull me out of that black hole

beauty

in all its forms

whether it's as simple as a ray of sunshine illuminating my desk or as powerful as a perfectly crafted poem

or a song that leaves me breathless and shaken and stirred and completely speechless

a canvas with brushstrokes that have created an image so powerful it transcends simple "art' and becomes something bigger than that simple word, something so much more meaningful and personal and treasured

worn books and notebooks filled with smeared ink and a computer filled with song upon song upon song

i do not revere the gods

i make my own

i revere the simplicity of a touch, a word, a kindly gesture,

the feeling of your warm breath on the back of my neck

i make my own religion

and it is sacred

copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews

Emulating Stu the Kid, 11-1-09

November 1, 2009

Emulating Stu The Kid

you keep doing this to yourself

staking your future on impossible odds

again and again i try to tell you that

the house always wins

as you draw another card

as your baited breath belies

the tension

the game brings with it

no, not a game

for for you, it is so much more

like air, you feed off it

you stake your future on it

insisting one day

you'll win that big pot

have that one good night

sorry, you are no Stu Ungar

and even that legend

was destroyed by his genius

banned from playing blackjack and rummy

od'ing just days after his big comeback

and you, you are no Stu the Kid

do it, yes, for fun

but please, i beg of you

stake nothing

when you stake your chips

copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews

Gattina's Plurk Challenge: Nutella Poem

October 2, 200

Nutella Poem

Oh, Nutella! The unspeakable things you do to me,

as treasured as any lover could be!

And oh, how much better you do what you do

than any man could -- I challenge you to say it isn't true!

Oh, Nutella! My love for you is like a flower in bloom

yet my heart seems to gain more room

for having you in me.

You're my redeemer, you hazelnut-cocoa anomaly.

copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews

When My Friends Invade My Inventory: Pt. 1, Barb's Caulfield Dress

So, I've never done a fashion post. I don't want to be a fashion blogger. There are far too many already doing it far better than me. However, I've decided to do a one-time series of posts called "When My Friends Invade My Inventory." See, I know and am proud to call so many designers and creators in SL my friends that, after putting together a kickass outfit for the Caulfield Dress [rose - group gift] from This is a Fawn, I was inspired to blog the dress. Barb is a friend of mine and that got me to thinking about all the other amazingly creative and talented people on my friends list and I decided it would be fun to do a few posts that incorporated various pieces from people on my friends list. Thus, "When My Friends Invade My Inventory" was born. I'm not sure how many of these I'll do, but not many, because man, are they work. Well, time-consuming anyway. I admire those of you who do this with any regularity.

So, onto the dress. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this dress, in all of the colors. It's a great end of summer/early fall piece in my opinion because the cut says summer but the fabric looks fall. Also, the skirt is pure flowy, flexi, magic goodness. And Barb knows how to do a skirt right, no matter how she makes it. The length is perfect, showing off exactly enough leg and the cut makes one's legs look simply to-die-for. Another selling point of this dress is that while it has a modest neckline, it really emphasizes one's ta-tas, showing them off to their maximum advantage. It comes in teal, navy, grey, blood, and aubergine, and comes on all layers. This dress is very versatile, easy to adapt to a variety of looks, as seen here. Anyway, go check out Barb's store, This is a Fawn, and pick up one for yourself, or better yet the fatpack, as Barb's prices are more than reasonable.

Style Card:

Outfit 1 (clockwise from top left):

Hair - The Huntress II, chocolate, Fishy Strawberry

Earrings and choker: Sn@tch Liquid Gothic

Skin: Curio - Beach 2: Black Pearl 1, Petal

Lashes: Silhouette Babydoll

Dress: Caulfield [blood plaid], This is a Fawn

Socks: School Daze Bobby Socks, white

Eyes: unknown hunt gift

Shoes: *katat0nik* Bowie Mary Janes (black)

Pose: Glitterati - Vogue - 1

Shape: Coco, This is a Fawn (modded some by me)

Outfit 2:

Hair: >Truth<>

Skin: Curio, Beach 2 - Black Pearl 2, Petal

Dress: Caulfield Dress [Aubergine Plaid], This is a Fawn

Necklace: Glass Chunk Necklace - b & w, Shiny Things

Bracelet: Glass Chunk Double Bracelet - b & w, Shiny Things

Shoes: Maitreya ChiChi Velvet Cherry Blossom

Pose: Glitterati - Vogue - 6

eyes & shape are the same as above

Outfit 3:

Hair: Magika Hair - Hate Me - Red E (which can be found in the 10L section, I believe)

Glasses: /artilleri/ paula glasses *black*

Skin: Curio, Beach 2: Black Pearl 1, Petal

Necklace: Deco - Vintage Drop Necklace

Dress: This is a Fawn Caulfield Dress [teal plaid]

Tights: Battered Boudoir - Boudoir Legs Fair, black

Nails: Candy Nail #P000 Basic Prim Nails Red09

Shoes: Breakneck Pump - black, Shiny Things

Pose: Glitterati - Cute 6

eyes and shape same as above

Outfit 4:

Hair: .:[Tiny Bird]:. Lola - Hazelnut

Skin: Curio, Beach 2: Black Pearl 2, Petal

Lashes: Dott Eye Lashes, MMS

Earrings and Necklace: Veronique earrings/Veronique Necklace - hematite/silver, Shiny Things

Bracelets: Everday Gems single bracelet and bangle and chain - black diamond, Shiny Things

Dress: This is a Fawn Caulfield Dress [rose - group gift]

Tights: Battered Boudoir - Boudoir Legs Fair, Plum

Shoes: BELLES - black, Shiny Things

Pose: m.f.p. Cockwaffle

eyes and shape same as above

SL Poetry Challenge from Plurk -- Topic: Long-Distance Relationships

9-2-09

why i quit falling in slove

I know I'll never roll over in bed

in the inky blackness of night,

reach for your hand,

find its warmth

and entangle your fingers

with my own.

you're just

a voice coming through over wires,

bouncing off satellites,

rushing through space

i may see your face,

crinkled in a tender smile,

but only on a screen.

if i reach out to stroke your cheek

i only touch cold, hard

plastic.

you're just

pixels.

remind myself

daily.

remind myself

not to fall

so desperately,

hopelessly,

inadequately

in love with you,

but i am

only human --

incapable

of stopping a train

hurtling down the tracks.

so,

i wait each night

for the beep-boop-bop

ringing tone

of a skype phone call.

all the while

telling myself

that the most important event

of each day

means less than

a single breath

to me.

copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews

Poetry Challenge #1: Haikus

SL Haikus

1.

faces become dreams

bleed into reality

the lines mean nothing

2.

your eyes bore through me

even when i see you as

you really are and cry

3.

creativity

explored with unknown limits

horizens expand

4.

hues and shapes and shades

subtle differences

on these things i feed

5.

spare me. know the truth.

sleep through the day, live nightly.

build alternatives.

6.

I wander farther

know less, learn little deaths

protect my walls

7.

myriads of masks

this is a beautiful dream

stealing everything

8.

become obsessed

lose hours, days, months, then years

trapped in glass tubes

9.

between you and me

there isn't much i don't see

i just choose to shut my mouth

10.

such a pretty lie

when it burns, i'll light the pyres

watch the skies sparkle

copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews

New Poem: The Evil Underbelly of Awakening

8-20-09
The Evil Underbelly of Awakening

There is an evil moment on awakening when all things seem to pause --
evil because in that still moment, that moment of nothingness, of
peace, of the kind of solitude that curls around your leg like a cat's tail --
comforting and cuddly,
there is no uncertainty, no anxiety, no guilt, no past or future taunting you
with their promises, broken and yet to come to fruition, or with images from your mind's eye
that you try so hard to erase, to bury, to ignore, but are never succesful at ridding yourself of.
This moment, frozen, lets you forget all these things. It tricks you, making you believe that the slate's clean
when we all know there is no such thing as a clean slate.
People never fail to remind of us
of the things we should or shouldn't have done.
And then we awake and it all rushes back into our consciousness' -- the days we've wasted
and the people we've replaced and
the things left undone,
the words that wounded like razor-sharp and finely-honed knives,
the eyes that we see in our dreams,
the regrets and wishes and unfilfilled desires,
our already burning funeral pyres,
the breaths we forget to breathe,
the seasons that never seem to leave,
lingering past their alloted time,
they drive us insane.
Yes, there is an evil moment on awakening when all things seem to pause --
when we forget the sound of our own breathless screams.

copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews

New Poem: Curves and Lines and Valleys

8-16-09
Curves and Lines and Valleys

curves and lines and valleys
bellies and bumps and bulges
all these things burst forth
from beneath fabric
form one form
a shape, a being
me, by god, me
in all my glory and imperfections
bad-kneed and unevenly endowed
round and wide-hipped
full-bellied and fat-assed
round-cheeked
big-eyed
with red cheeks and bee-stung lips
wide-eyed
face framed by lanky hair badly in need of a dye job -- half auburn, half brunette
deep rich tones framing sunken eyes, a button nose, uneven lips
all of it
exactly the way it's supposed to be
right here, right now
nothing more
nothing less
and it will grow or shrink
as life calls for it
and it will still be me
achingly,
poignantly,
more and more,
with ever breath,
breathtakingly,
beautiful.

copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews

NEW POEM: Just In Time

8-16-09
just in time

am i running out of time?
i know i have all the time in the world
as much time as any of us have
yet i feel this impending sense of urgency
this breathlessness
like as if I'm living in moments fraught with urgency and importance
and all this time
with a million eyes watching to see what I'll do next
I'm frittering away the most important moments of my life
blowing on dandelions yet forgetting to make wishes
not holding sacred or dear the spells cast upon me
the intoxication each breath should bring
numb, I sleepwalk through the fabric of my life
going through the motions, dialing it in
and with each step, wondering if I should be kicking myself for the one I just took
oh lord, let me wake up
live fully, fiercely, feverishly
breathe deeply, filling my lungs,
letting fresh air get me drunk on the weight of a single joyous moment
so fraught with emotion
so frequent yet so fragile

copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews

NEW POEM: The Wino Confesses Her Addiction

8-4-09
The Wino Confesses Her Addiction

He's a ripe grape, crushed, strained, bottled, fermented.
When he finally comes to me, he's finely aged, full-bodied,
with dry overtones,
and most importantly, completely intoxicating.
He comes with a warning label
that I never bother to read.
He sits chilled and breathing and encased in a shapely package
that gleams and glistens as beads of moisture form upon it.
His scent and taste are heady and evoke danger and thrills and secrets and late-nights and things we shouldn't do but would never take back.
I greedily swallow him down.
I want to take in every last drop of him, know every note of his flavor, have him deep inside me as I become an expert in the ways in which he wields his weapons.
He never fails to seduce me, when he chooses to do so.
All it takes is a waft of his oaky aroma in my direction, a gleam from a bead of moisture on his wrapping, and I lose myself to him.
It's a fight I'll never win.
He'll always get his way with me.
I'm powerless against this vice
and though I know I shouldn't drink so greedily from his cup,
I can't help but gulp ravenously.

copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews

Retrospectacular Donation Screenshot!

WOW! I'm srsly blown away! You guys rock! This is the best and funnest thing I've done in my slife and all because of you guys! I love you all! <33333333333333333333

Retrospectacular Total And Thank Yous

Retrospectacular to Benefit NAMI Total, 7-19-09, 9:19 pm

Thank Yous:

First, foremost, and without a doubt, the lovely and amazing Ms. Alicia Falworth, who, without her help, there is no way in hell this ever would've happened.

Also, in no particular order, Glamouramam Boa & The Slag Burlesque Troupe, Jacolyn Mathy, Mzdeedee Dagger, Alabama Smalls, Gwendowlyn Weston, Jasper Haifisch, Woody Stapleton, Enigma Bombay/Xi Ballyhoo/Solange Simundsen, OMGWTF Barbecue, Lindsey Rowlands, Hallelujah Mighty, Serenity Thor, Kookie Hax, ssmariner Flossberg, Zedelbee Zuhal, Violet Morellet, Irie Campese, devo Horten/Opus Romano, Alex Kawanishi, Bakersfield Kidd, Malkavius Aeon, UVAL Amiot, Rumpledink Robbiani, Clark Bowenford, all the club owners who allowed their djs to skip set/etc, all the djs, kissing booth volunteers, car wash volunteers, auctionees, people who donated items, people who lent items, people who helped build, and anyone else I've left out (not on purpose, trust me, bring it to my attention and I'll make a correction). Thank you all so very much!
From the bottom of our hearts,
Katelynn Dastardly & Alicia Falworth <3