On Losing The Best Of The Social Whores
You!
You spread your arms so wide and embraced me so tightly when
I was so lost
and you!
You introduced me to this incredible world i had been so enamored with
but had never had been able to muster the courage to dive into its depths.
You!
Do you know what an inspiration you were to me?
How when I watched you at Bahama Breeze or Manchester's,
moving with ease between tables and various groups of "macrame-makers,"
beer in hand, how
I was drawn to you like a moth to a flame.
God,
we all were.
Your light shone so brightly,
we all wanted to bathe in it.
If I could have one more moment I would say,
"Jack, you gave me courage and comfort and confidence"
and that wouldn't begin to describe one iota of what you gave me.
How I ache for what the world has lost.
I understand your demons, having shared similar ones
(the first time we met face-to-face we confided these issues with each other)
and I know the disease must've taken over
and I know I didn't do my part,
hold up my end of the bargain,
as I forgot how to communicate,
as I forgot how to be anything to you more than a name on a list.
So, I can't claim to know
anything about what brought this about
other than stupid fucking chemicals that wreak havoc with our souls
and for that, I could not be sorrier.
I will always treasure your infectious laughter, your booming voice, and those moments we shared where I was lucky enough to have your attention all to myself and got to converse and confide.
The world doesn't make much sense when we lose the likes of you,
yet I know your ache is at last soothed, your savage beast tamed,
so I hold onto that cold comfort,
and with tears streaming down my face,
I wish you well and remember a world where we basked in your warmth.
copyright 2009 Katherine Andrews
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