RIP Michael Crosby
9-20-1979 to 12-31-1999
1-14-10
On the 10th Anniversay of Mike's Murder
one instant
that's all it takes
then
like when a dam breaks
suddenly
everything changes
the water rushes in
and you grasp at the littlest things
just to keep air in your feeble lungs
oh god
i can smell the stench of
a waste sanitation plant
and see its barren terrain
i remember
standing on the exact spot
where you lay
bleeding
breathing
that one last garbled desperate breath
i know they say death is instant
when someone is murdered execution-style
but that "instant" can last forever
can haunt and wound and fester
years later
when we gasp for breath
as sudden tears spring to our eyes
when certain songs come on the radio
and we pull our cars to the side of the road
collapse on the steering wheel
grieving not for our own stupid pain
but for what you could have been
oh, mike
you were a fucking star
you lit me up
whether with joy or the giggles or fury
you never failed to make an impact
and now
ten years later
all i can do
is remember you with love and admiration
and hope that there's something more than this earthly existence
for you, my friend, my brother,
were the best of the best,
you belong in a heaven filled with blunts and busty babes
and beats that get the booty shakin'.
and i see you there,
your demons finally ceasing to exist.
your face lit with that smile no girl could resist.
you're a star, mike,
bright in the inky night sky,
showering us with your undeniable light,
and bullets will never extinquish you.
copyright 2010 Katherine Andrews
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